Drops

 I've been scraping for blood to feed the monsters I make, all my life.

The wolves yell, "Give us more! it's not enough!" 

 The time came that I accepted it. 

 I craved the steel gliding through my flesh. The slow, red drip, running down my leg. 

 It was never enough. They kept coming back, screaming, tearing at me, "We need more! You'll never be enough, will you?!" 

 If I can't take care of what's mine, why should I continue? I shouldn't. I can't. I'm not enough. 

 I wanted them to take my flesh, my blood, my bones, my soul. Maybe that will be enough. 

 I was over. But then you came to me. 

 Ready to be give it all for me. My only thought is how desperately you are in love with me. 

I was ready to give my remains for my sins. But before steel meet skin, for what would be the last time, you flung your body into my pit. You silenced their cries. You paid for my life with your own.

 I will always keep the scars, but they will remind me of the price you were willing to pay. 

Don't Let Her Go

They Called her insane

You called her beautiful

She lived in the dark

Naked and alone

But you were with her even there

They ran in fear of a monster

You grabbed her by the hand

You tore into her flesh

You found who she was

And showed her to the monster that was me

You completed the madness

You

Are

My

One

Love

The One

Everyone has one person
One person to keep them going
Someone to tell them to get up,
Wipe their eyes
If only just for them
Get up
Try again
So that I know
That I can always get up too
If only
If only,
Just for you

 Tiyler James

Depression

 Hey! My name's Tiyler and I'm clinically depressed.

 I don't think most people really understand what it's like, or how scary it is to be told you're mentally ill. Guys, it fricken sucks. Before you can help someone who is depressed, you have to understand what we go through every day.

 1. We loose the ability to function
 we can't just get out of bed and do our school work and laugh and smile and say everything is just fine and dandy. We just can't.

 2. We feel unloved
 "No one cares about me" "No one want's me around" are a couple of things that went through my head every minute of every day. Who can live like that?

 3. We feel hopeless
 "I'll never get better" "I'll always be useless" We don't believe we're going to get better, and we don't think we can. In my head, It was over. I was going to be like this the rest of my life. I can see a light at the end of the tunnel now, and I don't hear a train (as I have so many times before).

 These are just a few things I faced everyday. I was just so tired and I wanted it to be over. I'm not all better yet. as a matter of fact just a month ago I was in serious danger of being hospitalized. But I'm on my way!

 What you can do to help people like me:

 Love, love, love.
 Before you can do anything, prove that you can love someone so broken. Smile at them everytime you see them. Not a pity grin, a real smile just to say you're happy and there's something left to be happy about. Hugs are awesome and a great way to show love. If you're romanticaly involved with the person you want to help, cuddles and kisses are the bomb.

 Just show you care and you love them. 

 You're awesome,
                               Tiyler

Uhh… Chickens?

 Hey! My name's Tiyler and I live 20 minutes away from the closest town, I'm home schooled, and I have chickens. Yeah, that's right.

   Chickens.

      That like, lay eggs and run around the yard.

 It's my mom's fault. Well… mine too. Mostly mine really. See… about a year ago I was OBSESSED with country life. Looking back I was dumb, but I didn't know it at the time of course. Anyway, I wanted chickens, goats, the whole deal. And I got lucky. Really lucky. I got my mom on board and we convinced my dad we should move into the country, and it happened. One year ago inmature little Tiyler convinced her parents to get chickens.

 Now, I like it out here. The (weeping) stars are so bright, there are horses outside my bedroom window, I'm living my childhood dream. And it's wonderful. I don't get to see my friends as often as I'd like, I have to go out and take care of chickens every morning; but I have the stars, I have room to breathe, and I have poultry.

You're awesome.

                                Tyiler

I'm an Artist and I'm Willing to Bet, You Are Too!

 Hey! My name's Tiyler, and I'm an artist.

 No, I've never made any money on a painting, I've never published a book, I've never even entered a sketch in a contest. But I'm still an artist.

 Being an artist has nothing to do with making a living. Very few professional artists do. The only thing that makes a semi normal person an artist, is beauty. If you make the world better, I'd consider you an artist. That's all art is anyway: something beautiful. Wether it be running a company, or brushes and canvas, you're an artist. If you put a smile on a stranger's face, you're an artist.

 So go!
         
               Make art!

 Make drawings!

               Make smiles!

 Make beauty!


 Go.
         Make the world a better place.


YOU! Are awesome.

                                      Tiyler
               

My Doom

 What I would give for someone to stay

 For somebody to love when I open my eyes

 Or my heart

 When they really see me 

 To stay and embrace

 The fire I am

 To hold the monster I’ve become

 Maybe a warm touch will finally lift my mouth to a smile

 An embrace will set me free 

 The darkness I choose doesn't help 

 But why should I leave if I only take it with me? 

 The shadow of a winged monster follows close

 Telling of a doom 

 And now I have you

 No

 Keep away 

 Why take you down with me? 

 All hope may leave

 All life may burn

 But you will stay

 My life for you? 

 Yes

 This shadow of a world needs life like yours

 I can only destroy it